My Tiny Kingdom of Dust and Ashes

Man ain't been in here in a while....

Yes it's true.
I'm weird.

Weird in ways that destroy normal people's minds.

SO weird in fact that I live in a hyperbaric chamber filled with the gases from my home planet, because if I were to step out of it and into the polluted miasma that passes for atmosphere on this world, I would explode like deep sea fish brought up too quickly.

H.P. Lovecraft wrote stories about me... but never published them for fear he'd be locked up.

My sarcasm rends souls, my cynicism cleaves hope in two, my snideness makes your underwear feel too tight.

And my weirdness spreads like a fungus across your mind.
Soon you shall know the depths of weird.
Or you won't.
My time has come.
Or it hasn't.

Either way I can't be bothered.